Immigration to Absurdistan... a.k.a India or Bharat

To the east of Pakistan lies the land of Absurdistan, where I come from. It is also known as India or Bharat in some circles. Immigration process to this wonderful place is painful.

I recently went to the Chicago consultate to collect the approved Overseas Citizen of India (OCI) papers of my daughter. Now, OCI for the uninitiated, is the screwed up version of dual citizenship that India offers. Basically, they decided that dual citizenship as offered by other nations was no good and created something unique and messy. Anyway, having successfully got three OCIs I felt that I was good at getting it right even though each of the consulates have their own set of instructions on how to apply and no two of them match (my favorite is the sample photo...photos should have light background goes the instructions and the sample photo has a dark red/maroon background).

It used to be that Chicago consulate never accepted applications in person, it had to be mailed in. And, when you mail in you have to mail them "mailing fees", probably, for them to mail it back. Only issue here is they never mailed it back. I had to go in person to collect it all three times. So, this time I sent in the forms, money (two money orders - one for $275 and other for $20), tracked the application process on the web (one of the better aspects of the process. Once it gets to India it can be tracked) and went to collect it when the website indicated that it was back at the Chicago consulate. The consulate has a great atmosphere - a combination of being at a funeral + Chennai railway station - loads of grumpy people ready to kill waiting in a passive aggressive mode. I got to the consulate and hurried to the OCI window. Once I got there I was told that I had to get a token ( First indication of change). So, I went looking for a token vending machine. I could not find one. So, I went back to the guy who said I need to get a token to find out where to get it. He said, I had to stand in line at the first counter to get a token from the person there. Yes,"...stand in line to get a token." I did. Then, when I got back to the waiting area I noticed that others (most of them) were waiting to submit the forms. So, I told the guy who told me to get a token that I was here to collect the approved forms. He said that might be at a different time, so I should check with the person who gave me the token. So, I got back in line. The lady there said both submission and collection are handled by the same window. When I pointed out that they had just managed to make an already painful process even more painful, she pointed out that they had a process and had "dedicated" one window for just OCI processing. Given that it takes about 3 minutes per person waiting to submit and less than 30 seconds per person waiting to collect, I realized that I would have to wait for over 90 minutes to drop the US passport and then return to collect it with the stamped visa about 3 hrs later effectively forcing me to be off work for the afternoon. So, I decided to enlist the help of my wife whose office is closer to the consulate. She tried doing it by herself the next week, got there at 5 minutes after the window opens (11am) on a Friday only to find that tokens are given any time after the consulate opens. So, she had about 40 people in front of her. After waiting for 90 minutes she gave up. The week after we decided to make a joint effort, she would get the token as soon as the consulate opens, then I would get the token from her around the time the window open and drop off the US passport. Then, she would go back about 3 hrs later to collect it. This time it worked. We were licking our OCI wounds in satisfaction when we heard another absurd story.

My wife's cousin, who was born in the UK and is a British citizen is getting married in India in Dec. His dad and sibilings were having a hard time to get visas to go to India. They were told it would take upto 3 months to get their visas approved. The reason, the dad was born in Karachi back when the Brits ruled undivided India. It did not matter that he had never lived in Pakistan, the fact that he was born in mordern day Pakistan made him eligible for the special treatment that India reserves for its favorite cousins. Of course, it is not the first trip to India. In fact, one of his children who is being subject to the same absurb procedure was in India last Dec. Hey, this is a new year so the process has to be applied with new rigor. I some times wonder if the folks in Govt. of India/ the embassies and consultates of GOI are plain dumb or just acting dumb.

IPL...International Productivity Loss

Just wrapped up watching my former home town's team Chennai Super Kings win their first IPL with a rather comfortable victory over Mumbai Indians on YouTube. This was YouTube's first foray into live streaming and I believe they comfortably beat their viewership estimates of about 10million by 5 times. People from about 200 countries watched the game. Now, that is the power of the Internet, not cricket.

I came to know of IPL on YouTube when an American friend of mine IM'ed me at work saying he was watching IPL on YouTube. He had no clue what IPL was, no interest in cricket. He had been on the Internet (Youtube, possibly) and saw an advertisment for IPL. So, there he was ...at work watching IPL, its cheerleaders, the "strategic timeout" and as he put it "a full six."

According to Google the number one viewership was from India and the US came second. I wondered who in India would watch IPL on YouTube rather than on TV. Of course, the folks in the call centers, BPO, KPO and in general folks who then to be at work late into the night, have access to a good internet connection and computer. As for the US, it has to be folks at work or school since the games are played during US work hours.

Imagine a conversation between a customer in the US and the support center person in India, both watching IPL

Customer: So, when can I get the refund for the order

Suport person: As soon as the IPL controversy surrounding Lalit Modi and Shashi Tharoor has been sorted out.

Two scarifices... one "progressive", other ancient

This weekend there were two stories about India that I ran into... both related to sacrifices.

The first one was the story of a alleged human sacrifice in a temple in West Bengal (Kingdom of Kalii, I can almost hear a Hollywood movie or Game with that name). I read about it first on the BBC and in the coming days was picked up by all and sundry in the Western world. Now, for the "progressive" sacrifice.

The other one was the Indian Premier League (IPL. Think NFL for Cricket) ownership controversy that involved Shashi Tharoor, Indian Minister of State for External Affairs. Tharoor has been one of the well known indian faces in the West - as part of the Indian UN mission, as deputy to Kofi Annan, and a reasonably successful author. Tharoor started this one off by saying something to the effect that the powers to be wanted the new IPL franchise to go to some other city, not Cochin. Now, this was not the first time that he had suffered from "tweet in mouth" disease. Somehow, this might be his last. Turns out that the Congress party, his party, feels he is an embarrasment by his actions and the fact that he does not deny his association with part owner of the Cochin franchise. So, they want him to "resign voluntarily." Now, for Congress party to feel embarrased must be a great deal for this is the party that did not feel any embarrasement about the Shah Bano case, or the Bofors arms scandal or its ministers involvement in the riots and killing that followed the assasination of then Prime Minister Indira Gandhi. Cricket, I guess is more important than all of that.

I have no sympathy for Tharoor's state (or, the state that he represents in the Parliament). Tharoor turned out be a bureacrat turned politician with great education but very little street smartness - an embarrasment to the Great Indian Political Establishment. Tharoor can go back to writing. That might be a better way to serve India. BTW, Indian foreign service establishment (not specifically, IFS) seems to be better at producing authors than statesman. I know of three decent ones - Shashi Tharoor, Pavan Varma and Vikas Swarup. As for Tharoor, I hope I get a chance to run into him in the state that I call "God's own hell's hole."

Indian 'KKK' cartoon - case of pot calling kettle black

BBC News - Indian 'racist police' cartoon angers Australia

Apparently "Mail Today" (is that a newspaper or one of those national enquirer type ones) ran a cartoon depicting Aussie police as KKK folks because of the string of attacks on Indians in Australia and Aussie police/ government's inept response.

Truth be told both Aussies and Indians are racist. I am not sure who is more racist of the two or how it can be determined. But, in general I have a little more faith in the Aussie judicial system and hope they will bring the prepetrators of these crimes to justice.

Indians should not talk about racism (those who live in glass houses...). For all north indians, south indians are "saala, madrasis" (btw, where is the zero point on the north/south line). That is just the tip of the iceberg. How many race/ caste related issues do we have in India. I wonder if "Mail Today" ran any cartoon related to these. I find it interesting that they choose to use KKK image, something not many in India would know (other than, of course, the "liberal" educated elite who like to preach to rest of the world) but it was certainly bound to elicit an international response.

Law and Order in India ... crisis of credibility

BBC NEWS | South Asia | Indian judiciary's crisis of credibility

Need I say anymore?

Misplaced priorities?

Last December while I was visiting India I was bombarded with with opinions from well heeled Indians on how the US could elect a "dimwit" like GWB twice, how wonderful Obama is/ how well he speaks, how important it is to rein in the run away health care costs and have universal health care in America. I listened to these in amusement and growing anger. Pretty much everything they brought up was applicable to India where they had a right to volunteer, vote and make a difference. So, what had they done - not voted most of the time and used that to wash their hands off the wonderful leaders' performance. While they enjoy watching US election and policy debates they don't demand or care for debates on policies that their government creates.

While I am not sure if GWB was smarter and more articulate than most Indian leaders, I am pretty sure that most these people would not know what their leaders were saying even if they were saying something sensible because of the language issue. Hindi (or, any local language) is not in fashion, "Hinglish" is. And, all said and done US electorate voted for GWB, how many of the Indian leaders were elected by the Indian electorate. Dr. Manmohan Singh was a compromise choice who never figured as a potential choice the first time around. And, let us not talk about health insurance or universal health care in India - it has never featured as an issue both with the politicians or the general public. I guess, that would not be an issue for my conversation partners. They can afford it in India. They are more concerned about their 3-6 month trips to the US visiting their children.

More recently, I brought up the topic of Universal Identity card - an ambitious project that government of India decided to launch without any discussion or policy on national identity. And, as if that was not enough they decided to install Nandan Nilekani, the former CEO of Indian IT giant Infosys, to head the initiative on the sly. And, of course, the current Infosys CEO does not feel any conflict of interest if his firm was to be chosen as the implementor. When I suggested that the hallmark of a good democracy is transparency and involvement of the citizens in developing policies that affect them the response I got was - "Do you think Dr. Manmohan Singh and Nandan Nilekani are not smart? They know what they are doing." It is not about whether they know what they are doing or whether they are smart, it is about transparency in actions and citizens involvement. Can the Government of India tell its people why Universal ID is a pressing issue, whether the existing illegal immigrants will get IDs and the estimated cost and schedule of its implementation. They have installed an implementor to head the initiative without defining the policies.

Then, there is the pesky issue of child malnutrition ( Indian malnutrition stats are worse than that of Sub Saharan Africa). Hell, that is not an issue. Instead, we take pride in the fact that we have not had any famine since we got independence while we had a few under British rule. True, that is an achievement (of sorts) but what is the point if these children are just alive but nothing else. My conversation partners where more concerned about children in Africa.

The most amusing topic was the discussion on food prices. Guess what my conversation partner used for comparison of food prices in India to that in the US to drive home the point that "food prices in India are way out of control and the poor cannot afford it" - Apple pie. Yes, I am not making it up. All that I could tell this person was - there is a reason why they say - "As American as motherhood and apple pie."

China gets a taste of India

NYT: ‘Vicious’ brawl lit fuse for China riots - The New York Times- msnbc.com

For someone who grew up in India, this thing is very familiar. Now, if China was democracy like India, there will be "leaders" who will "fight to address the injustices" and make this a regular happening. And, maybe Raj Thackeray and his buddies will be able to export their brand of "leadership" to China.

I wish there were more like Tinish

BBC NEWS | South Asia | Lone Indian voter defies mob

I happened to ask a friend of mine who lives in India whether he had voted. His response was - too much of a hassle, no candidate worth voting and effort not worth it. He, of course, is not the only one - my in-laws have only started voting after their retirement. Their story was - work required posting in different places, could not handle the hassle of making sure they were on the local electoral list etc... Of course, all of them complain about the quality of the leadership, corruption and what not...

Jai Ho...India is shining

Once more everyone has been confounded by the verdict delivered by the world's largest democracy. Lucky for me, I am no expert on elections or Indian politics. I only got two posts wrong (that is about 66% of all posts on elections that I made). I did not think Dr. Shashi Tharoor would win and I did wonder aloud if "Jai Ho" would be a disaster like "India Shining". Dr. Tharoor won handsomely and "Jai Ho" continued its winning ways...this time for Congress(I) in the Indian elections.

Overall, I am glad with the outcome of the elections. I may not agree with the results but I do think it is better to have continuity for some time rather than changing governments like a heroine changing outfits during a song sequence in a Bollywood movie, it is better to have a strong mandate for a single party rather than a coalition of power hungry parties, the left parties have been left out and that Mayawati's vulgar ambitions have been trampled. So, is there anything to feel bad? Sure. I feel bad that Mumbai, my favorite city, decided that elections did not matter. 43% turnout is pretty pathetic. I thought Mumbiakars knew better - it is showing up for elections, not for candle light vigils that matter. As they say "Bad politicians are elected by good citizens who fail to vote" and "you only get what you deserve."

Shashi Tharoor wins in Kerala... Has hell frozen over?

It is official. Shashi Tharoor has won the Indian elections from Thiruvanthapuram. Congratulations to him. I never expected this to happen. Now that it has happened, am I glad that it has happened? I don't know. A few days back an anonymous commenter to my earlier post "Is Shashi Tharoor eligible for ST quota?" had asked me whether I would change my views if he wins. The answer is "No." And, why should I?

I have reasonably high regard for Dr. Tharoor as a writer and a diplomat. I don't think there is enough in his resume to judge him as a leader of Indian people or a politician. He is going to have to do that, now. As Tom Hanks' character in "Saving Private Ryan" says to Private Ryan, "Now, earn it.", Dr. Tharoor has been given a mandate and now he has to earn it.

I am not sure what the voters were thinking. Is this hope triumphing over reason? Or, is it cynicism triumphing over reason? Or, is it sense and reason in action? And, have the folks in Kerala gotten over the parochial narrowness that they are known for. I, like, Dr. Tharoor am a non-resident malayalee - NRM. Unlike him I was born there and have lived there for a few years. I even did my undergraduate degree in Kerala and was referred to, at various times, as "Pandi" (since I did my schooling in Tamilnadu), "Britisher" (because, I preferred talking in English) and "Dollar" (when I started applying for masters programs in the US). Or, did Kerala fall for the "glamour" factor? Neighboring Tamilnadu always had a weakness for its movie stars. Maybe, Kerala has a weakness for its diplomats. Anyway, I do hope that what happened to Rajiv Gandhi does not happen to Dr. Tharoor. Someone once described Rajiv Gandhi's years as - "He tried to change the system. But, the system changed him."

Is Shashi Tharoor eligible for ST quota?

Ok, the title is rather provocative and figment of my imagination*. I have lot of respect for Shashi Tharoor. So, it was with some amusement, concern and disgust that I greeted the news of him standing for the Indian parliamentary elections from the south indian city of Thiruvanthapuram. He has snowball's chance in hell in making a mark, leave alone winning the constituency.

Almost all well meaning Indians of reasonable charisma and fame sooner or later decide that the way to "serve" the country is by becoming an elected representative. I thought Dr. Tharoor was smarter to fall for that (Maybe, he went off the rockers when he did not become the UN Secretary General. Or, maybe, the keralite in him caused him to reconnect with Kerala on retirement, just like a lot of Non-resident malayalis (NRM) do). For a man who has lived almost all of his entire adult life outside the country (leave alone Thiruvanthapuram) to think he can connect with the people and can fulfill the role of their representative smacks of naiveté. Dr. Tharoor does a great job of presenting India to Indians and the world from his vantage position of a native looking in from the outside. However, elected representatives need to be insiders looking out. And, no, I don't think they need to be natives.

PS: I don't think just because his initials are ST (scheduled tribe) gives his any advantage. And, the constituency where he is contesting is not a reserved constituency.

Imagine Jaswant Singh as a Gurkha....hahaha...

Elections in India is always an interesting affair. It is a theatre of the absurd. So, chalk this one under that.

I believe Jaswant Singh, the former external affairs minister, who accompanied terrorists to Kandahar to release them in exchange for the hijacked Indian Airlines plane in Dec 1999, is standing for elections from the heart of Gorkhaland - Darjeeling. Yes, you got it right - a federal ministry from the largest democracy accompanied the terrorists and released them to put an end to the hijacking. That must constitute bravery. I bet the brave Gurkhas need someone as brave as Jawant Singh amidst them. Ahem...Or, maybe the BJP thinks Jaswant can develop some nerves of steel if he is amidst the Gurkhas.

Which way?

The two big buys that Tata motors did seem to be on two ends of the quality/ reliability spectrum. Wonder which way they will move under the Tatas.

Is "Jai Ho" the new "India Shining"?

BBC NEWS | South Asia | Jai Ho 'cost Congress $200,000'

They say nothing succeeds like success. I bet that is what Congress-I (Do we have variants with all 26 letters? Not yet.) is hoping. I guess they are hoping that the feel good factor of "Jai Ho" will translate into electoral victory. However, it is quite possible that this might be the new "India Shining."

During the last elections the rival BJP launched a polished, feel good, rah-rah campaign highlighting how things have changed for the better. Little did they expect that the campaign title would boomerang. The english only title was considered a great example of the issues with the developments that had happened - only the educated elite were getting the benefits. I am not sure how well this stuck with the public the end result was BJP did not win enough to form the next government.

So, will "Jai Ho" be the sound of "selling out to the west" or "poverty porn" or just a "fantasy that only happens in Bollywood movies." BTW, does Slumdog qualify as Bollywood movie? I think so. The theme is even though the guys made it are not.

Aiyo rama it is not Valentine's day but Pink Chaddi day

I love this one - very creative. I hate the morality police goons. Sri Ram Sena is nothing but a bunch of thughs who have banded together and branded themselves.

It is interesting that all issues in India seem to have Ram as the common thread – Ram janmabhoomi, Ram sethu and Sri Ram sena. I always though Ram as the national mythological hero was a bad choice. They say he is the “Adarsh Purush” (ideal man). Is he really? First, he blindly follows his parents order. Then, he kills Vali by deceit for Sugreeva. And, finally, decides to go with the masses and doubt his wife’s chastity. So, what is so “ideal” about these actions?

I wish it was Krishna who was the national mythological hero. In him you have a “rock star” – favorite of women (note: I did not say he was a womanizer), good with the flute (did Ram have any talent. He sounds like a whiner to me), inspiring leader (he got Arjuna to drink his “kool-aid” ) and shrewd tactician (how many times did he pull tricks to win the game?). I bet he would have seen the humor in the “Pink Chaddi” campaign. Hell, he probably would have had a collection of pink chaddis:).

Separated

The New Year got off to a rough start for me. I returned from a month long vacation (half of it was unpaid and the rest was all the vacation days that I had shored up for this trip to India) to work to find that I have no work. My boss (the CTO) of the company told me that due to financial difficulties the company was going through another round of layoffs. Since they had decided to stop all IT initiatives they did not need someone to define and manage IT initiatives.

So, here I am looking for a new job. A recruiter that I talked to mentioned that I should not use "eliminated" or "layoff" as they have negative connotations. Instead, he suggested, I should use "separated." Well, "separated" it is even though it does not change the reality. Someone else told me that averaging 2 yrs at a job does not sit well. True. I would not hire someone who changes jobs every two years. And, in the first 8 years of my work I was a sucker for the newest technology. I changed jobs every two years to work on the latest thing. In the last 10 years it has been the economy and the companies who have been prompting my job changes. One company that I worked for kept laying off people every 3 months that I finally quit after being there for 6 rounds of layoffs; the other decided consulting was not for them; the next two failed (one of them managed to sell themselves before it went under)

Someone once asked me - "How long can a 'start-up' call itself a 'start-up'?" I had no answer for that one. My former employer has been in business for 3 years and is down by $35MM. In B-school they said investors look for 3x3 or 5x5 returns (i.e. 3x returns in 3 years etc...) I bet this is not what they had in mind. Anyway, what do you call a 'start-up' that is in this state? Wind-down.

Back to the job hunt.

Bangalored is so passe... Why not get Bengalured?

I am not sure when the word (can you even call it a word) "Bangalored" first made appearance (according to Wiktionary it was in 2003). It is at least about five years old. Now, I have no issues with the word. But, I realize that we need a new word for all the Indians and non-Indians who have decided to give Indian sub-continent a try. How about "Bengalured"? It even has the new name for Bangalore in it.

Bengalured (verb)
Simple past tense and past participle of Bengaluru.
Relocated to Bengaluru, or India (or, any improbable location) in search of new opportunities.

James Matthew is onto something

James Matthew runs a heating and cooling company in the Chicagoland. No big deal. There are a number of desis running their own business. Every year around September I get a mailer from his company about the Fall specials he has for furnace/humidifier cleaning. The mailer is thing of beauty. It has the colors of the Indian flag on it including the chakra. I am not sure how James got my name and address (maybe there is a desi mailing list). Anyway, smart move. So, after about four years of getting this mailer and not trying out the service, I decided to give it a try. I called James and he came (a bit late but a lot better than the three hour window that you have to live with Comcast or ComEd. Maybe, he was just trying to keep this Indian theme going). Turns out James is of Indian origin but was not born in India, nor did he grow up in India. And, he has only been to kerala twice.

I want to believe that James has different mailer for different nationalities he targets. And, even if he does not he has managed to do something that the Indian government has failed to do - promote brand India.

High Rate of H-1B Visa Fraud says BusinessWeek

High Rate of H-1B Visa Fraud - BusinessWeek

So, where is the news? What is new? The article is written in such a way that it makes you think that the companies using the H1-B program the most (i.e. Indian companies) are the ones most responsible for fraud without making explicit claims or citing evidence.

The story for H1-B folks being paid less than market rate is often quoted but hard to substantiate. The market rate is not a single figure but a range and I bet every one of these H1-B folks fall within the range. The companies that employ H1-B folks benefit financially without having to resort to lower wages. Most H1-B folks tend to amass their vacation for one large vacation trip. That makes it easy for companies to plan for their absence. Quite often these vacations happen between Thanksgiving and Christmas, when majority of the companies do not have any major initiatives happening. Then, there is the wait for "green card" which makes these folks bonded laborers to these firms without having to sign such an employement contract. And, finally, there is the Social Security taxes that these folks contribute but may not see unless they become a citizen and Social Security program is still solvent.

So, who is being had, by whom?

Smoking ban will paint the town(s) red...literally

BBC NEWS | South Asia | Indian ban on smoking in public

This is a great idea for the cops to make some extra money on the side (not that they did not have options to do it). I also think this will make people switch to domestic alternatives like chewing tobacco with betel leaves. Hey, smokeless tobacco is big business worldwide. Altria (i.e. Philip Morris in its new avatar) recently bought UST Inc. (US Tobacco).