Immigration to Absurdistan... a.k.a India or Bharat

To the east of Pakistan lies the land of Absurdistan, where I come from. It is also known as India or Bharat in some circles. Immigration process to this wonderful place is painful.

I recently went to the Chicago consultate to collect the approved Overseas Citizen of India (OCI) papers of my daughter. Now, OCI for the uninitiated, is the screwed up version of dual citizenship that India offers. Basically, they decided that dual citizenship as offered by other nations was no good and created something unique and messy. Anyway, having successfully got three OCIs I felt that I was good at getting it right even though each of the consulates have their own set of instructions on how to apply and no two of them match (my favorite is the sample photo...photos should have light background goes the instructions and the sample photo has a dark red/maroon background).

It used to be that Chicago consulate never accepted applications in person, it had to be mailed in. And, when you mail in you have to mail them "mailing fees", probably, for them to mail it back. Only issue here is they never mailed it back. I had to go in person to collect it all three times. So, this time I sent in the forms, money (two money orders - one for $275 and other for $20), tracked the application process on the web (one of the better aspects of the process. Once it gets to India it can be tracked) and went to collect it when the website indicated that it was back at the Chicago consulate. The consulate has a great atmosphere - a combination of being at a funeral + Chennai railway station - loads of grumpy people ready to kill waiting in a passive aggressive mode. I got to the consulate and hurried to the OCI window. Once I got there I was told that I had to get a token ( First indication of change). So, I went looking for a token vending machine. I could not find one. So, I went back to the guy who said I need to get a token to find out where to get it. He said, I had to stand in line at the first counter to get a token from the person there. Yes,"...stand in line to get a token." I did. Then, when I got back to the waiting area I noticed that others (most of them) were waiting to submit the forms. So, I told the guy who told me to get a token that I was here to collect the approved forms. He said that might be at a different time, so I should check with the person who gave me the token. So, I got back in line. The lady there said both submission and collection are handled by the same window. When I pointed out that they had just managed to make an already painful process even more painful, she pointed out that they had a process and had "dedicated" one window for just OCI processing. Given that it takes about 3 minutes per person waiting to submit and less than 30 seconds per person waiting to collect, I realized that I would have to wait for over 90 minutes to drop the US passport and then return to collect it with the stamped visa about 3 hrs later effectively forcing me to be off work for the afternoon. So, I decided to enlist the help of my wife whose office is closer to the consulate. She tried doing it by herself the next week, got there at 5 minutes after the window opens (11am) on a Friday only to find that tokens are given any time after the consulate opens. So, she had about 40 people in front of her. After waiting for 90 minutes she gave up. The week after we decided to make a joint effort, she would get the token as soon as the consulate opens, then I would get the token from her around the time the window open and drop off the US passport. Then, she would go back about 3 hrs later to collect it. This time it worked. We were licking our OCI wounds in satisfaction when we heard another absurd story.

My wife's cousin, who was born in the UK and is a British citizen is getting married in India in Dec. His dad and sibilings were having a hard time to get visas to go to India. They were told it would take upto 3 months to get their visas approved. The reason, the dad was born in Karachi back when the Brits ruled undivided India. It did not matter that he had never lived in Pakistan, the fact that he was born in mordern day Pakistan made him eligible for the special treatment that India reserves for its favorite cousins. Of course, it is not the first trip to India. In fact, one of his children who is being subject to the same absurb procedure was in India last Dec. Hey, this is a new year so the process has to be applied with new rigor. I some times wonder if the folks in Govt. of India/ the embassies and consultates of GOI are plain dumb or just acting dumb.